Two often stated reasons that couples get divorced is that they “fell out of love” or currently “feel unloved.”
A lack of intimacy and poor communication are two common factors that lead to these feelings, but so much goes into establishing lasting intimacy and effective communication. On the other hand, your issue could simply be that you’re in a rut and don’t know how to get out.
What can be done to establish how you desire to be loved, to ensure you feel consistent love from your partner? One solution is for you and your spouse to determine your love languages.
The author, Gary Chapman, states in his acclaimed book, The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate, that people often express love the way they wish to receive love.
So, what is yours? The five love languages are as follows:
- Giving gifts: Whether it’s chocolates, flowers, more lavish offerings, this love language shows itself through gift-giving and receiving to show you have been thinking about them or to know you are being thought of.
- Acts of service: You express this by performing little and big acts that prove your love is consistent. For these people, actions speak louder than words.
- Words of affirmation: This love language expresses itself by using its words. Your language is full of harmonious and romantic terms. Use them toward your partner on a consistent basis and you will likely receive the same treatment.
- Quality time: Provide your partner with all the attention they deserve. This love language is about connection.
- Physical touch: Intimacy is key for these people. Cuddling, massages, and hugs among other forms of appropriate touch are how to show love to these individuals.
Chapman states that everyone has a primary and secondary love language; a language that shows how we express love and how we wish to receive love. Understanding and practicing your love languages should only strengthen your relationship.